So I’ve got to that point in my life and post-pregnancy where I’m ready to make a change. I’m ready to take charge and get myself looking and feeling better and of course I’d like to bring you along for the ride.
I except it’s going to be challenging, and it’ll push me but most importantly it’s going to change me, and that’s ultimately what I need. I’m ready to adopt the attitude that’s written all over my top. To ‘Just Do It’.
If you’re a regular over here, you’ll already know that I’m very unhappy with the way I look. I don’t like my postpartum body and I’m finding it hard to love my figure the way it is. I hate my muffin top, my bingo wings, my chunky thighs and my mum tum. Basically it all needs to go.
Thinking back to my younger years, I’ve never been happy with the way I look. It’s always been an issue and I think that as I’ve grown older, it’s unfortunately got a lot worse. The age we live in with technology and social media makes it a lot harder to be uncomfortable with the way you look. You’re forever bombarded with pictures of celebrities or friends who look great and you strive to be perfect no matter how unrealistic that may be.
For me I’ve always been regarded as the chubby one. All of my friends have always been a lot slimmer and prettier than me and it’s made me very self-conscious of the way I look. Even looking back at photos of me as a baby, my chunky thighs and chubby cheeks are the first thing I notice.
Unfortunately I’ve never really been the sporty kind of girl, so clubs of that kind were never on my to-do list. Maybe that’s part of the issue? I enjoyed swimming but that’s kind of meant for stockier people anyway, so maybe that’s why I did well?
Throughout sixth form and university I let go of a lot of my anxieties and I started to love myself a little more. I was comfortable in my own skin, but that was partly down to the fact I was so busy with my studies and placements to worry about anything else.
Then I moved to Essex and it all spiralled out of control again. People here make a huge effort with their appearance and I even feel scared to step out of the front door without any make up on. I feel judged and unworthy of being among such good-looking people. It sounds so silly to be so intimidated by people I don’t even know, but that’s the way it is.
Obviously my new body doesn’t help and because Archie appears older than what he is, I feel like I’m sitting on a ticking time bomb of how long I can get away with saying ‘I’ve just had a baby,’ because lets face it, five months is a pretty long time ago.
Even though I may fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, it’s about feeling good about yourself when you look in the mirror, which is something I don’t. All I see are the imperfections rather than the fact my body created such a marvellous thing.
Right now I’d give anything to confidently walk down the street knowing I’m good enough. Or to look in the mirror and compliment my appearance rather than scowl at the person staring back at me. I’d love to not worry so much about what people think and to realise that I’m ok.
So that’s why I’ve dug the workout gear out from the bottom of my wardrobe and I’m ready to begin my journey to a fitter, healthier and happier me.
Obviously I’m no expert and I’ll probably just be winging my way through this whole fitness malarkey but I’m excited to be able to share with you all what I do. I’ll be posting my exercise routines and lots of other things too, so stay tuned for more…