It’s no secret that I struggle with social situations a lot. The thought of being surrounded by strangers fills me with all kinds of anxiety and so the very idea of attending baby groups and classes scared the living daylights out of me.
I remember Chris asking me if I was ever going to sign up to any and it got to the point where I could no longer say Archie was too little for them. When Archie was about 8 weeks old I signed him up for a sensory class. I was hoping that it would be a smaller class and so I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed by a large group of people.
Walking to that first session was like I was setting myself up for failure. I felt anxious. Scared that I would be an outcast among the other mums. I sat myself as far away as I could from everyone else because I was too scared to join in. Everyone was much older than I was and I could tell people assumed I was a lot younger than what I am.
No one talked to me. Every knew each other. Everyone else seemed so much more confident than I was. It was horrible. I had to keep telling myself that this was for Archie and that he was the person who was going to be benefit from this time out of the house.
I forced myself to go back the following week. Again telling myself that this wasn’t about me, but to help my baby develop.
As the weeks went on, people became more friendly. I chatted and learned peoples names and their jobs. I watched our son become more interested in his surroundings and saw him enjoying the different activities.
And now that it’s been about a month since we last attended one I’m actually missing it. I’m missing the routine, I’m missing watching Archie develop and I’m missing having an excuse to leave the house.
Those classes helped me realise that I can do this. I can be a mother, and a good one at that. I am doing my best and there’s always going to be bad days, but they make us stronger.
I can’t wait to sign him up on his next lot of classes.
How did you find the classes you attended?