Those people that say motherhood shouldn’t define who you are completely bonkers in my opinion. Being a mother is one of the most fantastic jobs you could ever do and of course it will change you. No matter how much you’d like to think you’ll still be the person you were pre-baby, once children enter your life, you’ll soon realise that it’s simply not possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally think it’s achievable to still do some of the things you did before motherhood, if of course you have a good support network around you and if life choices allow it, and you can still enjoy things as though you weren’t a mother, but the reality is your life is very different now. You have to become totally selfless once you’re a parent, because you’re always thinking about someone else.
It’s not an easy journey by any stretch of the imagination, but motherhood is the best rollercoaster you’ll ever ride.
I’m braver than I thought | I’ve always been shy and kind of retired when it comes to putting myself out there, but since becoming a mother I’ve grown a confidence that I never realised existed in me. I’ve attended classes on my own, called people (I have a thing about ringing people) and even demanded to see doctors when I knew Archie was unwell, and not forgetting the fact I pushed this human out of me!
Pre-baby I didn’t know anything | You can be as prepared as possible to become a parent but in reality you’ll never fully understand what it is to become a mother until it happens. You can say you’ll do one thing, but when the time comes you will more than likely do something completely different, because that’s what works for you.
Multitasking is now my superpower | I do things without even realising I’m doing it but it’s not until I’m grabbing a coffee with the girls and juggling Archie, feeding him, feeding myself, cleaning up spillages while trying to maintain a ‘grown up’ conversation that I’m actually a master at multitasking.
I’m no longer ‘cool’ | Not that I ever thought I was cool, but I did think my fashion journalism degree did give me the slightest bit of style. Not anymore. I rarely leave the house without some sort of food substance smudged into my clothes and sometimes I have to double-check whether I’ve actually put matching shoes on. My high heels are shoved in a bag in the loft and my Radley handbags haven’t had an outing in far longer than I care to admit.
Spontaneity can never happen | Gone are the days we book a quick getaway to Paris for the night because ‘what was stopping us?’. It’s impossible to be spontaneous once you’re a mother. Everything is planned and well-thought out. Bags are packed days in advance. Getting out the house takes at least three times longer than it ever has before and basically nothing is ever simple.
I’ve lost friends but gained forever people | I’ve never been a girl with hundreds of friends but since becoming a mother I’ve truly realised who is in my life to stay. The people who have bothered with Archie and bothered with me. The people who text just to ask if I’m ok or arrange to meet up for a coffee. They’re the forever people I want in our lives.
I will never just be ‘Sian’ again | Mam, mum, mother, partner, a shoulder to cry on, multi-tasker, life-advisor, the list is pretty endless as to what I will be from now on. I no longer make decisions for myself, everything I do I have to consider my family too. Without even realising, my little boy has full trust in me, something I don’t think anyone has or ever will have in me again. He makes me want to be so much better than just ‘Sian’.
I’m happy motherhood has changed me, because it’s shown me exactly the person I’ve always supposed to be.