A is for Aching – Or more specifically back ache. Actually no, any kind of ache. Your body will ache in places you didn’t know exist due to
B is for Boobs – Whether you’re bottle feeding or breastfeeding boobs are a huge part of motherhood, for the obvious reason if you’ve opted for the latter and the sheer fact that your boobs ache, change and become completely unrecognisable once you’re a mother.
C is for Crying – Don’t get me wrong, I’m a cryer. But I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I have since becoming a mother. Most of the time I have no idea why I’m crying, I just feel an overwhelming need to let it all out.
D is for Dad – There’s nothing more rewarding in motherhood than watching the man you love become a father.
E is for Energy – I get mine from cold coffees and energy drinks from a can but it’s all about whatever gets you through your day.
F is for Fun – I don’t think you will ever have as much fun as you will once you become a mother. Sure your pre-baby holidays, gigs and date nights were great, but is there anything sweeter than giggling with your little one and watching them smile with pure delight?
G is for Granny knickers – Sexy undies are a thing of the past.
H is for Help – There’ll be times you need help and that’s OK. Accepting help from others will make you feel so much better.
I is for Impossible – There’ll be many parts of motherhood you find impossible, but trust me, you’ll get through them and come out brighter on the other side.
J is for Juggling – Life, motherhood, everything.
K is for Kicks – The kicking doesn’t end once your baby is no longer in your tummy. Have you every tried to wrestle with a squirmy piglet to give it medicine? Well, that’s kind of what it feels like to have to dress a baby!
L is for Late meals – Don’t ever think you’ll be eating food dot on lunch time or dinner time. Oh no. You’ll have to wait until the kids are fed, bathed and in bed before your own food intake can even cross your mind.
M is for Mama – The best word you can ever here your baby say is mama (or mum for you Southerner’s).
N is for No – We really need to learn when we should say it and when we need to stick to our decision.
O is for Order – Probably more the lack of order and more chaos but that’s OK. Slowly but surely order will be resumed and you’ll have yourself in a routine that suits you.
P is for Poonamis – Scared of poo? You’ll see more than you ever thought possible.
Q is for Queen – Becoming a mother is like becoming a queen.
R is for Rest – That whole nap when the baby naps malarkey is complete nonsense, BUT you should get plenty of rest when and where you can.
S is for Saggy boobs – I was far from blessed with beautifully pert and rounded boobs before motherhood, but now, well my body resembles that of an old woman’s rather than a 23-year-olds.
T is for Tiger stripes – This mama earned her stripes but they are not welcome. Stretch marks are the single most hated thing about my post-baby body. They are hideous and unfortunately not something I care to celebrate.
U is for Ugly – You’re likely to feel all kinds of ugly, but remember that’s your opinion, not others.
V is for Vocal – You’re the mother and so if you think there’s something wrong then you CAN say so.
W is for Weaning – And all that conflicting advise on when is best to start.
X is for X-citing – Sorry for the cheat here but what else begins with X? Motherhood is so exciting – every smile, every giggle and every tough day
Y is for Yo-yo’ing’ – Most of the time I feel like I’m living life as a yo-yo. Here one second, there another. It’s usually one minute I’m in the sitting room, then the next I’m chasing after a crawling baby in the kitchen, then running up the stairs after the puppy trying to stop him from taking my knickers from one end of the house to the other.
Z is for Zzz’s – Or more like, the lack of zzz’s I’m getting.